


Never Say Die

by Feisripa



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cute OC, Drama, First ever fanfic so it may suck, Fluff, Jealous Lexa, Multi, Romance, Torture, War, maybe smut, slowburn, updates whenever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-05-21 16:49:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6058755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feisripa/pseuds/Feisripa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few weeks after the fall of the mountain, Clarke finds herself alone, hungry and facing constant danger. On her travels she meets Kai, a friendly Nomad who offers to train and travel with Clarke. For many months Clarke and Kai survive together in solitude but alas, the legend of Wanheda has spread and Azgeda want her head. New and old enemies rise, friendships are tested to the limit and the commander wants blood…and Clarke. This is a slow burn Clexa story and also my first ever fanfiction. Rated M for later chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Into The Woods

As she walked away from Camp Jaha, Clarke felt as if she world was on her shoulders, the weight of everything she had done in the few short months she had been on earth was finally catching up with her and bringing her down. It had all started with Atom, her first kill, it was out of mercy yet it still haunted her every day. Then there was her first real kill, the grounder, Caliban. Then there was the 300 grounder warriors at the drop ship, killed in a ring of fire at her command. Followed by another 250 grounder in TonDC, killed by a missile because she chose not to save them. She stabbed Finn. Shot Dante. And to top it all off she killed 300 in mount weather. Children. Innocent people. All dead because of her.

She was drowning in blood, she couldn’t be in Camp Jaha because she would be constantly reminded of what she did for her people. We bare it so they don’t have to. Clarke didn’t want to bare it, she hated it the pain she was feeling, but she had to bare it for the sake of her people.

A large part of her wanted to blame Lexa for betraying her, after all it was her fault Clarke had to irradiate level 5. Maybe if Lexa hadn’t betrayed her, Clarke wouldn’t have had to kill those innocent people. Her heart aches at the thought of Lexa, of what could have been, if not for the betrayal. Her mind floods with images of the kiss they shared in the tent before the battle, of Lexa’s soft lips pressed against her own, the emotions that were conveyed through that one kiss.

Clarke sighed. She shouldn’t be thinking of Lexa, she shouldn’t be thinking of the ‘what ifs,’ after all, what’s done is done.

Looking back at Camp Jaha for one last time, Clarke entered the treeline, leaving her old life behind, and starting a new one, alone. Without her mother, without her friends, without Lexa.

-

It had been a few weeks since Clarke had left her people and she was barely surviving. She didn’t really think it all through, all she had left Camp Jaha with was her gun and a limited supply of bullets. For the past few weeks she had been surviving off meagre amounts of berries and little water, it wasn’t enough. Clarke was malnourished and dehydrated, if she didn’t do something about it she would surely die within a matter of days.

Her body was screaming for her to go back to Camp Jaha, to warmth and security, food and water, to her people.

Her back ached from sleeping on the cold, hard ground. Her legs burned from the constant travel and her stomach clenched and ached in hunger.

But still, she couldn’t go back. Not now, possibly not ever. She needed time and space. To think, to _forget._

Her stomach let out a load groan, disrupting her thoughts, she needed food and quickly. Nightfall was quickly approaching so she knew it would be too dangerous to attempt hunting, so once again her only hope was to find more berries.

The thought of berries made Clarke queasy, the previous night she had eaten some poisonous berries and as a result spent the night violently vomiting, the sickness lasted most of the night, and Clarke had lost a large amount of sleep because of it. Despite this, Clarke knew that she had to eat so she risked it.

As the sun was setting Clarke came across a bush covered in small red berries. _They look okay_. Hesitantly, Clarke picked a handful and popped them into her mouth, slowly chewing. A burst of flavour assaulted her tongue, it was sweet, very sweet. After around 15 minutes Clarke still felt okay so she decided to pick all the berries on the bush to save some for later.

As she continued to walk, she continued popping the berries into her mouth. They were really good. They made her feel good too, as time passed Clarke felt a sense of euphoria was over her. Her body was tingling and everything just seemed clear. As she moved on Clarke just couldn’t help but admire her surroundings, the sunset lit the western horizon in a purple glow, the birds sang their song and the left over precipitation from the last rainfall clung to the leaves. Then reality altered before Clarkes eyes, the birds changed to angels and the sky turned green. _Like Lexa’s eyes_ Clarke thought dopily. The trees became giant mushrooms and the fairy’s surrounded Clarke. Wait what. Something in the back of Clarke’s mind was telling her that something wasn’t right about the whole situation but she chose to ignore this feeling and instead she just lay down on the forest floor admiring the pretty colours. She lay there for what felt like hours when suddenly a shadow blocked her vision and as her eyes adjusted Clarke realised that her father stood before her.

“Hey Kiddo.” Jake smiled at Clarke, he looked the same as the day he was floated, and he was even wearing the same thing. Clarke couldn’t believe that he was actually here.

“Dad?” Clarke was beyond confused at her father’s sudden appearance, she knew he couldn’t be here, after all he was floated. _Dead._

“Yeah kiddo, it’s me.”

“How are you here?”

“I’m not.”

Clarke’s face scrunched up in confusion at his words. _What did he mean?_ He was stood in front of her. “You’re in front of me though.”

Jake moved closer to her and squatted down by her side and smiled sadly. “Only in your imagination I’m afraid.”

Clarke up at him, part of her knew he was telling the truth but she didn't understand it all. “What do you mean?”

“The berries that you ate. They were hallucinogenic, everything you’re seeing is a part of your imagination, including me.”

“He’s right.” A new voice cut in, Clarke looked behind her father to see the commander, Lexa. “You need to come back to reality Clarke.” Part of Clarke believed them, knew that this was all fake and part of her imagination, her dad, Lexa, the fairies. But the part that the berries had taken control of wanted this to be real, and escape from reality.

“Go back to real life Clarke.” Her Dad said with a slight smile.

“Okay Dad, I love you.” Fatigue suddenly washed over Clarke, and her eyes began to close, before she fell asleep she heard her father’s voice quietly whisper to her.

“Love you too, kiddo.”

-

Clarke woke up several hours later, she was still slightly out of it due to the berries but she was now aware of her real surroundings. A thick layer of sweat and grime covered her skin, and her clothes were clinging to her, she had clearly done a lot of thrashing around during her hallucinations. As she got up she made sure to dispose of the berries, in a nearby bush.

As she prepared to set off on her travels again Clarke heard a twig snap nearby, immediately she reached for her gun and held it out in front of her. Surveying her surrounding Clarke couldn't see anything as she goes to put her gun back in its holster a large black panther steps out from the undergrowth.

_Oh float me._

Clarke immediately fired of a few shots at the panther, hitting in in its right shoulder. This only enraged the panther further causing it to charge at Clarke. By this point Clarke was panicking, she managed to move out of the way but the panther prepared to charge at her again. Clarke fired off more shots at the panther in desperation, she missed them all and by this point she was getting rather low on ammo.

As the panther charged this time Clarke couldn't move out of the way in time and its right claws ripped through Clarke’s shirt and into her flesh. She hissed in pain and looked down to find 4 deep claw marks stretching across the expanse of her stomach.

Her breathing was becoming uneven as the pain ripped through her body, Clarke tried to shoot at the panther again and this time she managed to shoot it in the stomach. The beast screeched in pain and charged at Clarke again. Its movements were becoming slower and Clarke was able to move out of the way. As Clarke went to shoot at it again she was met with a soft click from her gun, she was out of ammo. Clarke shouted in frustration, and threw the empty gun at the panther, hitting it in the head.

_She was going to die._

The only way Clarke would get out of this alive would be if she ran, it was possible the panther could bleed out.

So she took the chance and ran as fast as she could away from the panther.

Her entire body ached and her abdomen was stinging to no end. Behind her, the panther was trying to keep up but the injury Clarke earlier inflicted to its shoulder was slowing it down.

As she ran she could feel her body slowing down, the panther was quickly gaining on her.

Clarke reached a slight downhill section of the forest, as she tried to navigate safely down the incline her foot caught on a root sending her to the ground. Due to the momentum that she was running, Clarke was flung down the hill at quite a high speed, twigs and branches hit all over her body, painting scratches and deep cuts all across her body. Trees raced past and as she neared the bottom Clarke's head collided with the thick trunk of an oak tree, when she reached the bottom the last thing she saw was the panther slowly approaching her as her world quickly dissolved into darkness as she lost consciousness.


	2. It's not that good of a story.

Clarke’s mind was fuzzy when she finally woke, remnants of yesterday’s events played in her head, the last thing she remembered was seeing the panther slowly approach her, surely about to devour her and leave the mangled body in the middle of the woods. So how was she alive? 

Hesitantly, Clarke opened her eyes. Bright sunlight lit the area, momentarily blinding her. As her eyes adjusted to the harsh light, she realised that from the position of the sun she had been unconscious for quite some time, taking in her surroundings Clarke became aware that she was in some kind of camp. Thick furs covered her body, engulfing her in warmth. Next to her was what looked like a crude chair made out of wood and more fur. Near to the chair, was a well-built campfire, above the camp fire was a large metal pot suspended with something boiling in it. Different aromas wafted over from the pot and assaulted her senses, different spices and ingredients blended together to create a delicious scent and Clarke became just aware of how hungry she still was when her stomach groaned loudly at the idea of eating food. She shook her head quickly trying to dispel that thought, before she could even think about eating she needed to find out where she was. 

Tall trees surrounded the camp, they were far bigger than any Clarke had seen before. She played with the dirt under her hands, it was slightly damp suggesting it had rained recently. Nearby she could hear a river flowing, it sounded close. The tall canopy of trees were blocking any further view Clarke could have used to figure out where she was. So for the meanwhile she was completely and utterly lost in the middle of some strange camp. “Great” she thought out loud, “alone in the middle of the woods with no clue where I am.” 

Except she wasn’t alone. Clarke knew that there obviously had to be someone close due to the campfire however, from her earlier quick surveillance of the camp there was no one to be seen so she had just assumed that they had gone hunting or something.

Clarke, still half asleep, pulled the thick furs from her body. Cold air rushed over her exposed skin, leaving goose bumps scattered across the surface. She shivered from the sudden drop in temperature. For the past few weeks the days had been getting colder, she knew that this was because of winter drawing closer. Despite this, the temperatures  
Clarke currently felt were significantly lower than any she had experienced previously. 

Standing up quickly in an attempt to get to the fire, a sudden wave of dizziness washed over Clarke. Her head pounded and the world around her became a distorted mess. Clarke stumbled over a root and felt herself slipping, she braced herself for hitting the cold forest floor but the impact never came. 

When she looked up she found someone looking back down at her. He seemed around Clarke’s age, then again with grounders it was hard to tell. He had short black hair, around the length of Millers. Full, kind eyes and stubble across his chin and cheeks. He was also tall, very tall, Clarke could swear that he was double her height. 

His arms were massive and littered in tattoos, he used his strength to hold Clarke in place and had a strong grasp on her body. Clarke tried to escape from his steel grip however this grew tiring as with every attempt he only held on tighter. She began to panic as everything caught up with her, she was in the middle of the woods with a possibly hostile grounder and that she could die. Filled with renewed panic, Clarke thrashed mercilessly in his arms, kicking and scratching in an attempt to free herself.

“You need to calm down Clarke.” His deep voice commanded. How did he know her name? Who was he?

Despite his words Clarke only struggled more, over time the mysterious stranger just gave up and dropped Clarke onto the hard forest floor.

The wind rushed out of Clarke with a quiet “oomph.” She hadn’t expected him to actually let go of her. 

Bewildered she looked up to the stranger only to find he had a cheeky grin on his face and was trying to stifle laughter. 

As she attempted to get up Clarke stumbled and fell over again this time face first into mud, this only made the man’s stifled snorting turn into full on laughter. This pissed off Clarke, not only did he capture her but he had the audacity to laugh at her misfortune? Not wanting to embarrass herself further Clarke did not try to get up again instead she just glared at the huge grounder. As his laughter died out the man managed to form a comprehendible sentence.

“You... You’re... So clumsy! Like a... Like a goufa!” Each word was cut off by another bout of laughter and Clarke was growing truly frustrated as she did not find anything about this situation funny.

Clarke waited until his laughter had fully subsided before she spoke. 

“Who even are you?” Clarke was pissed off and she was sure to show this in the tone of her voice. Who did this guy think he was? Dropping her on her ass then calling her a child. If anything to Clarke, he was the child not her.

“I am Kai.” So his name was Kai, the man –Kai- had quite a clear voice and he seemed confident with his English, this made Clarke believe he was a warrior. Clarke became panicked once again, she was in the north so did that mean this man was ice nation?

Trying her best to still sound threatening Clarke spoke in a clear voice.

“What clan are you from, Kai.”

“I am of no clan, Clarke. I am a nomad, banished by the commander for treason. However, I am originally TriKru.” Clarke did not expect him to reveal that much, her anger had now dissipated and she felt compelled to learn more about Kai.

“Why was you banished? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” She wasn’t sure as to why she added the last sentence on, probably because she wanted the stranger to feel comfortable around her.

“It’s not that good of a story.” He said quietly.

“I have time.”

“Okay, Clarke. I will tell you my story.” He moved closer and sat down next to where Clarke still remained. 

With a deep breath he began his story. 

“The events leading up to my banishment all began when a ship fell from the sky-“

“Wait our ship, skaikru?” Clarke cut in.

“Yes SkaiKru, may I continue?”

“Sure.”

“As I said it all began when a ship fell from the Sky, I was the nearest on patrol so I investigated the scene. Which was where I found a group of teens. At that point I should have gone straight back to TonDC to report to Indra about you all. But I couldn’t, I could tell you were all like goufas, inexperienced without a leader. I saw you there Clarke, trying to lead, I also saw the Bellamy boy. I didn’t go to TonDC because if I did there would have been an army at your doorstep before you could even think about having a life on earth. So I stayed, simply observed for a while. Before long I found other scouts nearby and told them to tell Indra and Anya you were all peaceful, to spare you for now. I observed you for a long time, held off the army while I still had reasoning to. When the time came where they decided to finally attack I couldn’t. I knew you and the skaikru like no one else, the weeks I spent watching you all made me realise that you were not trouble. I was one of the best warriors in TriKru so naturally I was asked to fight and when I refused I was banished. Which is how I ended up here.”

Overwhelmed by this information Clarke no longer felt in danger by the man but instead thankful.

“So you prevented attacks before.”

“Yes, although I could not stop them all I prevented many, including several attempts on your life.”

“Wow, uh, thanks I guess.”

“You’re welcome Clarke kom SkaiKru.”

Unsure of what to say now Clarke just sat processing information and the two fell into a comfortable silence.

After a while Kai’s voice cut through the silence.

“Why are you here Clarke?”

“What do you mean?”

“Last I saw of you, 300 warriors were burnt and you was victorious, so tell me, why are you weeks away from your camp?”  
“It’s not that good of a story.” Clarke said repeating Kai’s earlier words. 

“Mockery is not the product of a strong mind, Clarke.” He retorted. 

Clarke jolted at the words. Thoughts of Lexa invaded her mind, taking her back to before the mountain after they escaped that damn gorilla and were in the cage. When Lexa repeated those same words. She shook the thoughts from her mind

She trusted Kai now, she was unsure why as she had only known him for a short while, she needed to tell someone about everything so she did.

She told Kai everything, life on the ark, her dads death, about little details from the original 100, the aftermath of the war. She told him how she was trapped in the mountain and her escape with Anya, she told him about the alliance with Lexa (missing out the kiss), she told him all about taking down the mountain, the innocents she killed. She told him how she left Camp Jaha and how she ended up here. Clarke poured her heart out to the near stranger yet he felt like an old friend. He did not ask questions because he understood, he understood and accepted Clarke, he did not criticise her he just nodded and for that Clarke was so grateful as since she landed on earth she had needed a friend like Kai to talk to.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now though, I certainly won’t be going back to Camp Jaha.” Clarke sighed. She had nothing now.

“Stay with me.”

Clarke was shocked, she didn’t expect that.

“Wh-what?” She stuttered.

“Stay with me.” He repeated. It wasn’t a question, more like an order. “I will train you. Teach you the grounder culture. How to fight, hunt, cook, and heal.”

“Why?”

“You really think I am going to let you go out by yourself, you were half dead when I found you. Besides you’re not that bad company. Also my sister would kill me if I didn’t.”

“Who’s your sister?” 

He ignored her question. “So Clarke, stay with me? Let me make you into a Gona.”

“I accept.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR BEING LATE LIKE SUPER LATE  
> VERY SORRY  
> ILL TRY TO NOT DO IT AGAIN I SWEAR  
> PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS AND THOSE KUDOS THINGS  
> THANKS XXX


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